| The "Dumbledore is Gay" press release (no joke) |
[20 Oct 2007|04:51pm] |
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Editors // Munich |
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DEAR EVERYONE CONCERNED ABOUT DUMBLEDORE'S "OUTING,"
It's nice to know there's another dimension to his character, but obviously it wasn't crucial, especially if Rowling wasn't sure "how the fans would take it." (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/10/20/AR2007102000186.html). If he's gay, he's gay. And while that may have been a turning-off point, especially towards the younger readers, i.e. children, and given the Christian Reich more to bitch about (although God, the Devil, and Harry Potter is a WONDERFUL book, and very neutral) this should have been stated DURING the series. Not necessarily in the books, but stated by the author. However, maybe with any luck we can see something of this during the next few movies, although NO BUTTSECKS PLEASE.
It's fabulous to know that an author of some notoriety has taken the leap to publicly "out" a main character in a children's book series, however. But mark my words, the number of Dumbledore/Harry fanfiction on the internet will quadruple.
Now I'm going to go back to my vision of Dumbledore as Harry's fairy godmother in a pink dress, a la The Wizard of Oz. Transfigure me some red shoes, please!
Much Love,
Samantha
[EDIT]
It's not so impossible to think they MIGHT imply homosexuality in Harry Potter movies. The fanbase aside (It's DUMBLEDORE for Christ's sake), a lot of other PG-13 movies have homosexualty. Example: Comedy shit-fest I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry.
ALSO. When is Ms. Rowling going to out a character we all know is gay, like Draco? FANSERVICE PLZ.
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| A new post! Holy crap! |
[25 Sep 2007|07:33am] |
No, I'm not dead. But I will be, soon enough!
Florida is pretty (I have more pictures for facebook).
Work is not quite as pretty.
But this about sums up my experience thus far:
I went out to buy soda and cigarettes and when I came back there was a lizard on my wall.
RIGHT.
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| To A Boy I Cannot Love |
[19 Aug 2007|04:07pm] |
Endlessly
The stars arch overhead
In a canopy of broken dreams
There are cars parked on back roads
And there is a boy making promises
In backseats
There is a girl
Who can neither pull him close
Or push him away
And he swears he loves her
She cannot feel him around her
And she cannot escape
But she thinks this is love
They go through the motions
A cacophony of sound and touch
And he tells her that it’s love
Breathing in backseats
Tonight she knows
And she tells him so
This is not love
As he drives in silence
The stars go by in reverse
She turns to say goodbye
But falters
Tears like falling stars
A cascade of agonized beauty
Will haunt her
Endlessly
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[18 Aug 2007|12:05pm] |
So much has happened, but today is all business.
My primary goal is to finish cleaning so I can finish packing.
NEED TO PACK:
-More clothes (Sweatshirt, tshirts)
-Jewelry
-Makeup bag
Tonight:
-Set up Daddy's new iPod
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| In the past 24 hours.... |
[10 Aug 2007|09:38pm] |
-I set a bottle of alcohol based lemon extract on fire. It was actually kind of cool....the fire went up the stream I was pouring into the bottle that was in my hand. It took me a second to realize, but then I went "oh, wow! This is on fire, isn't it?" Then the fire spread to the counter and then the floor when my co-worker knocked it over. It culminated in my boss proving her fire-extinguishing skills when she realized she didn't know how to use the fire extinguisher.
-I had the worst class ever.
-I got a kitten! His name is Heinekin. Pictures to follow.
-Work was good, had a conversation with a manager about things previously discussed. And it looks promising.
Now I'm just playing with Heine and watching the Prestige. My family has dinner reservations in the city tomorrow so we're going to eat and then going shopping.
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| DEAR NERD-FRIENDS |
[29 Jul 2007|02:17pm] |
Does anyone know if Guild Wars can run on a Mac?
And if it does, how badly with the quality suffer?
KTHXBYE.
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| I didn't expect...the unexpected |
[25 Jul 2007|09:23pm] |
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BoysLikeGirls // Me and You and My Medication |
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Work started off normally, despite B's incoherant message as he unlocked the front door:
"There was this kid in a Red Sox tshirt looking for you yesterday. brown hair, about this tall, and he kept asking 'Is Samantha here? Is Samantha here?' Do you know him? What did he want?"
And my confused reply of "I have no idea, this is news to me."
OTHER then that, it was uneventful, save for the last hour or so, when X initated a conversation. He asked the usual about school, my internship, things in general. I'm at his alma mater, and have spitefully been called his protege. I told him about taking a double-minor, switching campuses, my gig at the hotel. As I spoke to him, I noticed things about him I hadn't earlier. In the three summers I've known him, he's changed. His young appearance and attitude had given way to an older man, more father-figure than older brother. His face, once lively and colorful, was now haggard and gray, his thick black hair now sparse and streaked with silver. Truthfully, the digit of his age is unknown to me, but he always seemed so young compared to V's patchy stubble, greasy hair, and 17 year old daughter.
It's so confusing. Is it his age causing these changes? Or the passing of time in general? It's a stop-frame series of photographs, showing the same thing in each photo over the course of time. As old as he may seem, I myself am not the fresh-faced, naive sixteen year old I was when I met him, either. And I'm so young and I already feel like time is passing too quickly. I've been at the same job for three summers. It's the one constant, I suppose.
X's next question to me involved the future. As in, did I have any prospects? Prospects. I rattled off some things that could be so: going back to one of my internship sites as a full-fledged pastry chef, starting the bakery with E that she always talks about, turning corporate, starting up something of my own...and at the end I threw in, "and who knows? Maybe I'll come back here." This, of course, was in reference to a snarky comment made by Lia, at the end of last summer: "You'll go to school there like X, and you can graduate and become a retail manager like X."
He didn't catch the joke. Dark eyes regarded me before he said quietly, "I wouldn't put that out of your mind, it's still a viable option."
I sobered and nodded, promising I would remember. I made to move away from his seat at the espresso counter, and he gave me another searching look, before standing and jerking his head towards the front doors. "Let's take a walk." A walk? Christ. Were they going to fire me? What did I do wrong? Did he hear me swear in front of the kids?
Outside the air was warm, and X didn't venture far from the front doors. Rather, he seemed content to slump against the wall, speaking low and rapidly. "When you come back there's not going to be any of this assistant bullshit." Um, what? "You come back, you're going to be on top. Demos, classes, all that. If you're an assistant, with your experience and credentials, you won't get paid what you're worth. I'm not going to let you get jerked around." He paused as thought trying to remember if he'd covered all the bases. Satisfied, he paused to gauge my reaction. "Yes," I told him. "Thank you." What else could I say? He offered a smile and went inside, disappearing into the racks. Clearly, this conversation wasn't to become widely known.
When I got back to the kitchen I saw Lia, puttering around behind the marble counter, fussing with the computer, her purse, the crate of books. She currently holds the position that was so succently held in front of me, like a juicy plum. She loves this job with no intentions of leaving. I wondered how it would be, as old as she is, to know that you were being replaced. She's in her fifties, childless, unmarried, a spinster. Truthfully? That's all the reason we need to realize why she;s bitter, why she can be gossipy and talkative one moment, and cold the next. She has no one else. At night, she goes home to an empty apartment, devoid of even a cat or dog for companionship. What does she have? A well-paying job where her co-workers avoid her. An expensive car to run errands with. A cushy, well-furnished apartment where she goes home to sleep alone. She claims to have missed her "window" to marry and have kids, which just proves this isn't just self-induced.
What is it like to be that old, that set in your ways? How does that feel when you're that old and there's a newer, better model on the market to replace you? Younger, prettier, less qualified but more manipulative? Where do you go when you're displaced like that?
I can't help but consider why the things I want always come at such a high price to others?
And that begs the question: is my entire existence destined to destroy the lives of other people?
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| Sigh... |
[20 Jul 2007|08:05pm] |
Poll #1025238 I need advice as usual!
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 2Which sounds more appealing for a study-abroad program?
Help?
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[17 Jul 2007|09:48pm] |
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Law and Order: SVU |
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Recently I've had the notion that my entire purpose of existence, is...well, purposeless. Tomorrow is my birthday and it just seems like nineteen years of first being completely dedicated to pleasing other people, and then to losing all regard and choosing a path of pure hedonism.
In the whole birthday vein, I kind of want to wear a tiara to work tomorrow. Y'know, just because I can.
I've also been cleaning my room. I'm going to make my room generally clean for when I go away to Florida, but I've been mapping out a game plan to clean an actual area of my room each time I come home from Rhode Island. During Thanksgiving I'll tackle my dressers, at Christmas my shelves and drawers, and February break will be my closet.
I want everything clean by next summer because if I come back to New York at all it'll only be for the month of July. I'm applying to study abroad in Switzerland in June, and Eileen has been talking to me about a trip to Paris with ICE in August...and if not, I'll be taking summer term in probably North Carolina.
And then it's Colorado. I have a really good feeling about it. I've opened up another bank account that I'm saving money in, called the "Samantha-is-not-moving-back-home-after-college fund." All I need is the first year's rent for an apartment in Boston. I have three years to do it. And hopefully by then I'll at least be engaged *cough* you know who you are.
Oh well. It feels like I have so much I want to do and not enough time to do it all.
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| TRANSFORMERS IS THE GREATEST MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEN. |
[03 Jul 2007|11:11pm] |
^ see above.
All I could do was think of the time someone told me "You're gonna get raped by Optimus Prime."
I found the entry but I have no idea who said it....http://quiet-virgin.livejournal.com/2005/03/31/
...
GO SEE TRANSFORMERS IMMEDIATELY.
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| This isn't good. |
[22 Jun 2007|05:10pm] |
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I'm having some sort of life crisis and I'm not even nineteen.
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| Things are finally falling into place... |
[16 Jun 2007|07:17pm] |
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Memoirs of a Geisha on Starz! |
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My obsessions over choices were pretty pointless because my choices made themselves and I couldn't be happier.
There are plans to be made, things to be purchased, and fun to be had while I still can.
I feel fabulous.
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| ....this could be the end of everything... |
[01 Jun 2007|10:01am] |
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"...so why don't we go somewhere only we know?"
I hate being at a point of my life where I'm actually kind of happy because there are already choices to be made, and changes at hand.
Usually I do so well with changes. They don't bother me often, and I just take it in stride because that's the way it's going to be and I can't do a damn thing about it.
In retrospect, college wasn't the experience I expected it to be. Did I learn anything? Yes, academically. Did I learn anything relevant to life? Not really. I learned that I haven't changed much. Was I disappointed? Marginally.
Next weekend I leave for Colorado. But now, I'm second-guessing my decision to maybe change campuses. It would be infinately easier if I actually knew what I was leaving behind.
And naturally, in my torpor, I've sequestered myself away from the universe, leaving the house only to go to the gym every morning (yes, I work out. No, it hasn't helped. Fuck off.) or to run errands. I've also cut off my long hair, that I've been trying to grow back in. I want to the salon yesterday and had them hack it off. Now it only *just* touches my shoulders. Part of me feels really satisfied and part of me is regretting it deeply. (Also, while watching the Shear Genius marathon last night, I heard Tyson say something that summed up the entire experience: "When a woman loses control of her life, the first thing she drastically changes is her hair.") Today I'm going to mess it up further by dyeing it blonde, or at least giving it really chunky highlights. If that looks too hideous, I'm just coloring it ALL pitch-black.
Anyway, what I really need is advice about this whole Colorado thing. It's getting to be less and less about my education and more about me finding an oasis. And that's not right, either. Something doesn't fit...but what? And advice like "follow your heart" or "do what you think is best" is nice in sentiment...but has a usefulness factor of zero.
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| lordy lordy. |
[16 May 2007|02:33am] |
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So.
There are 2 days left to my freshman year of college.
Thank God.
I'm kind of considering changing my start date for co-op. I kind of want to push it back to, like, August. Or September.
I mean, I wanted to do camp again. I wanted to see Amalia drown in her own selfishness and mediocrity.
I wanted to do Warped Tour as a followup to Bamboozle. And Projekt Revolution. And sitting by the pool doing nothing.
I dunno. I might sort of hint that I'll need the start date pushed...the 2 extra months were my own call.
I have so much to consider.
Any suggestions?
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[02 May 2007|02:40am] |
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The Editors // Blood |
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ALSO.
I have found a woman so much like my Princess was it's uncanny.
I guess it's true that as soon as you stop looking for something you find what you're searching for.
I pray I'm not such a fool this time.
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| I guess it's spring, I didn't know, it's always 75 with no melting snow... |
[02 May 2007|02:17am] |
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Rilo Kiley // Does He Love You? |
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Life is fucking beautiful right now.
I have sixteen days left of my freshman year of college.
The sunshine makes me unbelievably happy.
I have a summer trip planned. Colorado, anyone?
I have a summer job lined up. Back at camp.
I have my fingers crossed that I'll get a job offer for the summer in Florida. In which case, I will NOT be doing camp. (I should find out in a week or so.) If I do get this job, six months in Florida will be spectacular.
I'm going away for the fall term.
In two months I turn nineteen. I feel ridiculously old for my menial age. I have to actually think back, and realize it's been two, three, four years since certain events I recall so vividly.
I'm in the mood for Jagerbombs.
I have complicated new friends.
I've been talking to people I haven't in years and it's been making me feel sixteen years old and nostalgic.
I do not mourn what I used to be, but I am anxious to find out what I will become.
I think that's been my biggest revelation.
I'm impossibly impatient to get on with life.
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| Where to begin? |
[02 Apr 2007|08:11am] |
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Fall Out Boy // Hum Hallelujah |
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So the weekend is over, and do NOT ask what I am doing up at 8AM on a Monday morning, of all days.
The past week has consisted of thus:
- Fighting with Kenny's friends over that whole thing. (If you know what I mean, congrats. If you don't, it's probably irrelevant to your life.)
- Struggling through a ridiculously long week. THANK YOU CHEF BRANCELY FOR BEING A TOTAL BITCH-WHORE.
- Going to Ultra Thursday night, which kind of sucked but was it's own experience. And my new philosophy is that you haven't really lived until you've danced to "Sexy Back" with a strange and unfamiliar pelvis pressed firmly against your ass. Now THAT was an experience.
- Friday and Saturday were typical fare spent with the usual people.
- Sunday I went on an adventure that is as-of-yet incomplete. DO NOT ASK WHAT THIS ADVENTURE WAS. YOU WILL NOT GET ANY INFORMATION. I WILL GIGGLE AND MOCK YOU.
- Sunday night consisted of me fucking up my housing for next year. Which is why I'm up so early. I'm booked for a private triple in the Hospitality building but I'm eligible for an apartment-style suite in Renaissance down in Federal Hill. I neeed to get that changed because I'm not going to spend the 6 months of school that I have left in Providence living in the shithole of Hosp.
- I've also started looking for flights, etc. to go to Colorado over the summer to see if that's what I really want for the summer after this. Does anyone have any experience in Denver they would care to relate. I WOULD BE MUCH OBLIGED.'
Sigh. '
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| Well, it wasn't a total loss |
[12 Mar 2007|02:36am] |
So Friday class gave way to a hazy Friday night which turned into a slightly awkward Saturday morning.
This slightly awkward Saturday morning, in which I stumbled home at 9AM in the same dress clothes and high heels I wore to the bar, was make even more awkward by the encounter with an acquaintance. And like any girl knows, meeting someone you know with the stale makeup, sloppy hair, and clothes waaay to dressy for a weekend morning -- yeah. This was verified by the raised eyebrows and slight smirk of said acquaintance.
The awkward Saturday morning gave in to the sweatpants and shopping of Saturday afternoon, to a slight rehash of Saturday morning, to a Saturday night of cartoons and video games with boys also in sweatpants.
A bitchy Saturday night led to a sleepy Sunday morning, which led to adventuring to soothe my sour temper.
ALL OF THIS EVENTFULNESS HAS LED ME TO A CONCLUSION:
My tolerance of people has become increasingly slim.
And walking down Thayer Street with my companions, in the sun and the warmth and the general feeling of spring, I'm beginning to think that spring is a time of rebirth, after all. And maybe this is my time to let old things go, and embrace new ones. Tonight has added on to this feeling.
Especially because I don't quite know what happens if I'm stubborn and cling to it. Or even if I know what I'm clinging to. Or rather, if what I'm holding is substantial.
This weekend gave me hope. Despite the fiasco of the past few days (BTW fiasco is currently my favorite word because it sums up my whole life), I'm now capable of seeing that if I risk what I have, there's something beyond what I can see.
I think the time has come for a fresh start, and spring seems to be as good a time as any to try...right?
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| Awkward people & awkward nights make for awkward conversations over breakfast next morning. |
[08 Mar 2007|12:35am] |
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I am slightly past my angry outburst from last night!
[EDIT]: Every infidelity I've ever committed has decided to come back and bite me in the ass at the exact same time. It's a guilt-trip gang-bang!
And it's strange that I keep on meeting people that remind me of people I knew in high school. It's not necessarily a bad/good thing but maybe I am in a parallel universe. And it doesn't help that whenever I see/speak to these people I am reminded of my abundance of mistakes with a variety of people. Some mistakes have been rectified, some have not. And some never will be.
I am not who or what I used to be. I am not sixteen and cocky and arrogant, a whore and a liar.
Not anymore.
Or maybe I am the parallel universe and all of this is my undoing.
***
Vacation:
- Boring, stressful and shitty
- Highlight: My Chemical Romance concert.
Sunday:
- Return trip to Providence
- Awkward people & awkward nights make for awkward conversation. IT'S A SCIENTIFIC PRINCIPLE.
Monday:
- Travelling to Thayer/Wickenden Street, shopping and sightseeing.
- Buying art supplies at RISD
- Seeing Zodiac, which is like 3 hours long and only worthwhile for about 1. IN ESSENCE, it was a good movie.
Tuesday-Wednesday
- The start of Classical French with Chef Brancely.
- Trying to determine the cause of my increasing depression and fatigue.
- Maybe maybe maybe the 3EB show avec Kenny on 4.19. LOVE THEM. However if I am drunk/depressed and they sing "God of Wine" I might start to bawl uncontrollably. Because that is the single best song of my whole damned life.
****
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